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From the power vested by freedom of speech, this week is officially proclaimed as the first Don’t Hassel the Hoff week (DHH week).

As with every holiday, there is a beginning, an end, and various traditions to abide by. DHH week will kick off on the 15th, corresponding with the release of David’s autobiography “Don’t Hassel The Hoff”, and will be in effect for 7 days afterwards. You are urged to participate, mostly due to peer-pressure. Participants are hereby known as Hoffsters, who will practice, to the best of their ability, the following:

• The Don’t Hassel the Hoff week-long holiday can be reissued by whomever and whenever, but should generally avoid reinstatement around other holidays. The Hoff is generous and does not wish to steal another’s thunder.


• Upon reissue, traditions affiliated with said holiday should be practiced during its seven day duration.
  
  
• If you possess Hoff merchandise, please wear it loud and wear it proud.
  

  If your Hoff merchandise is not wearable, other forms of creative display are also acceptable.

• Incorporate “Hoff” into your daily vernacular as much as you can. Please try to come up with at least one tagline per day. Some sample dialogues:

  “That’s Hoff-tastic!”
  “That’s not just great, that’s Hofferific!”
  "Nothing fills my stomach like a chili-Hoffdog!”
  “These surfboards are awesome; they’re going to sell like Hoffcakes!”
  “My ultimate defense move is Wax On, Wax Hoff. Seriously.”
  “I’m Hofficially on vacation, expect replies from my Out of Hoffice assistant.”
  “Your cup of cappuccino simply cannot compare to my Hoff chocolate. Mmm ...Hoff chocolate…”
  “Don’t Hassel the Hoff – you Hoff to read it.”

When surfing the web, spend a few minutes searching for websites featuring the Hoff and leave comments wherever possible.

If you come across a picture of the Hoff (…like the DHH book cover!!), be inclined to share a fun Hoff fact with someone via IM, email, your blog, phone, or simply tap the closest stranger near you.

This mandate may be voided if you are without any type of communication device and the stranger closest to you radiates a maniacal and dangerous aura.

Devotees should get their hands on a copy of the “Don’t Hassel the Hoff” book jacket pic and prominently display it wherever possible - forward it to websites, blogs, friends, and families demanding a prominent placement. If you’re aware that certain individuals are without the comfort of a Hoff photo, and the Hoffster in you is feeling generous - you can offer those less fortunate a copy of this Hofferific picture for download. .

Pay homage to all the great roles The Hoff has portrayed. Don’t be afraid to:

• Wear red bathing suits.
  
• Men – feel free to bare your chests.
  
• Name your cars and converse with them, especially if they have a black paint job.
  
• Sing in your car.
  
• Indulge your inner musician.
  
• Indulge your inner thespian.

Should performing any of the above traditions lead to a life-threatening situation, the Hoffster should exercise common sense and consider safety-first!

All in all, please keep the ideal of this holiday true to the Hoff spirit – light-hearted and fun. May the Hoff be with you.

So these are the guidelines of DHH week. Feel free to spread the joy about this new holiday by emailing it to your buddies, posting this on your own website, and try to come up with as many Hoff phrases as you can. How much of a Hoffster are YOU?